At the end of June, I visited one of the lands of which I am a citizen, namely The United Kingdom. I was invited by the University of Durham to give a presentation and discuss some physics, to which I added a weekend visit to London. I had visited the U.K. once before, but I had never visited London. I did visit Durham, but the weather was miserable and I remembered only that the river was a horseshoe and there was a big cathedral. It was also the first time in approximately a year that I would venture to an English speaking country, which was always going to be an interesting experience.

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Durham

My flight from Paris was at 0650, arriving in Manchester at 0700; somehow when I organised my connecting transportation I thought I was arriving at 1130, so to be on the safe side I booked a train for 1230. This meant that I had 4 hours to pass in the airport. One of my first observations was that the directions to the station were marked “the station”. I found this very odd, why not train station?

I settled in on some chairs, whipped out my laptop only to find that all the power points in the airport had a locking mechanism to prevent the freeloaders from stealing electricity. Needless to say I thought this was ridiculous, and searched until I found a broken mechanism where I was able to charge my battery until someone came and told me to leave. The train to Durham was 2 and a half hours, which for such a small distance is a little ridiculous, but more on that later. I stepped out of the train and into the rain, not heavy but a constant drizzle. It was nice to be in England.

I navigated my way to the University, and did all my work related things. In the evening, we went out for dinner at a pub, which was terrific. It was great to be in a pub – a real pub. I ordered a pie and a pint and never looked back; delicious. Afterward, I went to explore the old town. Unfortunately the cathedral had closed for the evening, so I wandered around the town and along the river, which is really pretty. The town is tiny so it doesn't take long, but there was no-one around and thus the walk was very tranquil.

The next day was work, except for lunch, we went to the café inside the cathedral, which was really tasty. We were unable to enter the actual cathedral due to a university graduation ceremony, however with the few glances I managed to steal, one can tell that the cathedral is just stunning; grand Norman architecture. But, it was not to be. In the evening we went to another pub, which was a micro-brewery of sorts, which was again really nice due to their non-existence in France. We gaily knocked back a few pints, had some dinner then it was off to bed – London was calling.

London

I try to preserve chronology, but here I will break it. I was dumbfounded when I realised that the train from Durham to London was 4+ hours. For such a small island, an island which (for the majority of intents and purposes) is flat and let us not forget: it is the country where the locomotive was invented, one can only scratch their head at the current state of the railway system. A huge number of lines are not electrified, there are no plans to do so, and on rails that are electrified, many diesel (passenger) trains still run. Then there is the London metro. I had heard good things, so perhaps I was expecting too much. Frankly, I was amazed by the slowness of the trains and the somewhat sporadic schedule, not to mention the outlandish cost and that for traversing small distances, it is significantly faster to walk. On the positives, it was very clean, and the underground signs are very easy to spot.

I know that the train network there is better than many places (many may be a stretch) and the infrastructure is old and it would be almost unfathomably expensive to upgrade, but it needs to be done. Come on U.K., all aboard! Train destination: good public transport infrastructure.

Saint Paul's Cathedral. And who is that?

I arrived at Kings Cross and as I often do when I arrive in a new city, I walked to the centre. The walk from Kings Cross is not very pretty, but once you are in the thick of it, the contrast is amazing. Once I broke through the blandness of flats and laundromats and wandered blindly into Saint Paul’s Cathedral (which admittedly, I did not recognise at first), I found myself thinking: “yea, this is pretty nice”. Short lived however, as you are told it is necessary to pay near £20 to enter. NOPE. I love cathedrals, but that is ridiculous! Given that I spent £100 for my entire visit (excluding accommodation) it is crazy! So rather disgruntled, I blindly wandered the streets. My aim was Tower Bridge, so I went down to Millennium Bridge and followed the Thames up to the Tower of London, knocking of some sights along the way. I climbed the monument, which was a good climb, but the view left a bit to be desired. I was quite taken by the shard, which is certainly the most striking feature of the skyline. I saw the tower, the bridge and then decided to ditch my stuff before continuing. I stayed in an “apartment” in Clapham, which consisted of a bed and a chair, but was reasonably priced and it had wireless Internet.

In the afternoon, I continued on my tourist tramp, visiting Buckingham Palace and then the Palace of Westminster. The Palace of Westminster was just great; I am accustomed to seeing it on television, but it surpassed all my expectations - simply stunning. Afterward, I tried to visit Westminster Abbey, but then the £20 entry fee struck again! Needless to say that didn't happen. I made for base, got some (greasy) fish’n’chips on the way and then retired for the eve.

The next morning, I hunted down a traditional English breakfast at a local hipster looking establishment, but I was destined for disappointment. My bacon had been cooked into oblivion and one of my poached eggs had been pierced during cooking. Considering I was really looking forward to this breakfast (again, one finds nothing like this in France) is was a bit of a bummer.

Unsatisfied I made my way to the museum of natural history, which was excellent. In particular, the geology sections were first rate. I have always liked geology, so viewing the collection there, which is the most extensive I have ever seen was a treat to say the least.

Afterward I went to Hyde Park via the Royal Albert Hall, which incidentally is very pretty. One thing I have yet to do is mention is the weather. Unlike Durham, London was beautiful. The whole time was 28-29 degrees and mostly sunny. Apparently to the residents of London, this is the signal for everyone to attempt to give themselves skin cancer. It was abhorred; people literally trying to get burned and being proud of this fact. People were looking at me like I was the anti-Christ whilst I was applying sunscreen.

After a visit to Kensington Palace and a pleasant stroll through the gardens, I found myself at the British Museum. I was slightly embarrassed upon entering as I could not remember what the museum’s “show stoppers” were. Whilst I was deep in this thought, I wandered by this stone which my subconscious told me “heh, that looks like the Rosetta stone” and then it clicked. Needless to say I felt like a bit of a chump! I remained there for a few hours until closing as the collections were great; those Brits really knew how to ransack other cultures’ items of value. A quick visit to Trafalgar Square finished the day.

My final day – which only took place as I made a mistake when booking my flights – gave me the opportunity to do a few more things, few of which I enjoyed. I visited the Tate Modern, which served the sole purpose of reaffirming my distaste for installation art. I went to Piccadilly Circus and followed Regent Street (simply as I knew the name from Monopoly), which really highlighted the disparity one sees between the wealthy and the not-so wealthy. It was something that I was noticing a lot whilst there, but going there took it to another level for me.

I passed the time before my flight in Regent’s Park, which contains the very pretty Queen Mary’s Garden, then went to catch my EasyBus bus to the airport, only for it to never appear. According to other EasyBus patrons, the bus - which departs every 30 minutes - had not been seen for 3 hours. I will note this as the start of my hatred for EasyJet, which coincidentally (or not) was my first experience with them. I paid £14 for a different bus to the airport, otherwise I would have missed my flight – and a big thank-you to the lovely Irish couple who donated £2 to allow me to take said bus. I checked-in, rushed through security and to the gate and we were all herded into a tiny glass room next to the tarmac. Once everyone was in they closed the rear doors and said the plane we were waiting for was delayed and we must wait. It was only 25 minutes, but being locked in a room which is not meant to hold passengers, with zero ventilation and packed to the brim and service attendants with a severe attitude all served to sweeten my attitude toward EasyJet. At least they found their way to Paris.

In summation, people often ask me “how was the trip?” after an adventure and for the most part, I responds “good”. For this one, it is harder to say. I really enjoyed being in Durham. London, well it is hard for me to coherently actualise in words what I was thinking and feeling whilst there, but little of it was positive. I have already mentioned observation of disparity, but seeing some people with so little and then others with so much, parking their range rover and buying fancy blends of tea that were £140 for 20 tea bags – an event which I witnessed, not to mention the countless similar - albeit lesser version of this - served to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.

London is a very old city with an extraordinarily rich history; essentially it was the capital of the world. I could not help but feel that little had changed since that time, it is stuck in its ways and doing little to progress forward. Then again, maybe I am being too harsh. I had not home for 3 solid weeks prior to this adventure and perhaps I was simply jaded. But even impressions gained through jaded eyes are based on observations and experiences; both of which I know to be accurate.

So, “How was the trip?”

“I don’t know.”

Adventures

England: Durham and London

Durham

London